Friday, September 7, 2012

Testing the Waters

So while I was in Idaho I got the opportunity to practice some of my photography skills. I was the photographer, for my friend, Aubrey's wedding, ( more pictures to come) and I also was lucky to take pictures of one of my childhood friends, Sara,  and her family.
I was excited to do this because I've been wanting some practice and wanted to expand my horizons, and not just take pictures of my own family. I also wanted to see if photography was something I wanted to do for some type of career.

Well, while taking pictures I learned a whole lot, and I felt like I fell on my face a little bit. There were some challenges that I just didn't anticipated. One, and the main thing, and I should have known this was to happen, but I didn't like being looked at and having the pressure of taking a good picture, I don't know if that makes sense. I like to be artistic and creative but I don't really like having any type of focus on me, I like to be more behind the scenes. For example I loved playing the flute in high school and I got really good, I was first chair and any solo I tried out for I got it, but I really disliked the pressure of playing a solo in front of people, obviously I did it, but every time I stressed out way too much that once I cried before a performance because of the stress of messing up, and I knew that music was not my career.

What I love about art is I can do it in my own little corner, no one watching me, than I present, and even than I don't like to present in person, ha ha. Thank goodness for technology that most of my clients I don't even see their face when I send them my final product I just email it to them. Also most of my college career I rarely signed my work because I didn't want people to know it was mine.
So I guess what I'm saying is, with photography I don't think I like the pressure of seeing my client face to face. The whole time taking pictures at the wedding I was a nervous wreck, o boy, I wondered if it was obvious, but I tried to pretend to be confident and knew what I was doing, but honestly I didn't, I just tried to act like my own wedding photographer did. Also I have never really posed anyone before, I just follow thomas and go with the flow, so it was hard for me to come up with poses at the wedding, good thing Aubrey and Loren were naturally good models. Also speaking of pressure, when people said how they have liked my pictures on this blog, and comments like "wow you look like you know what you are doing" it made me even more tense, because I was thinking " o no, now I'm going to disappoint them" it might sound silly but that's what I really was thinking. And honestly that night, talking to Dustin on the phone I said " I think I ruined Aubrey's pictures, she will always regret that she asked me to do her pictures."-but luckily she has been loving the ones I've sent to her thus far. 

After that I wasn't sure if I wanted to take Sara's pictures too, but again I wanted to try it out, I was thinking maybe I will be less stress since its not wedding pictures, and it was less stress, and they were so good, and I just took pictures of them playing with their little girl, and I didn't pose them because its really not my favorite thing to do, I rather sit at the back and take pictures, but now that I have edited them I wished I had posed them because I think I could have gotten more good pictures. But thank goodness their little girl was really good and was fun to photograph so I got some cute ones despite my lack of confidence and skill.

So after those two experiences I told Dustin photography is not for me, it's just a hobby vs a career. Than when I got home and was in my little corner with no one looking at me, editing the pictures I was having fun, and thank goodness I saw that I did get some good pictures, I was thinking maybe I could do this, but I'm still leaning on no it's more of a hobby.

So after that long explanation, I don't think I want photography be my main thing, but I am willing to photograph people with a small charge, but I don't think im going to put all of my energy towards it, I rather do illustration where I don't have that kind of pressure, I love deadline pressure that illustration can have, and I love drawing while I like photography. I hope this all makes sense, but I still want to learn more about photography, just not as a profession.

So thank you Aubrey and Sara for letting me take your pictures, you guys were great!


So here are some of the Forbush family:



And a quick preview to Aubrey's wedding. I will put more up later. 

1 comments:

Aubrey said...

Jess I love you so much! You did an amazing job and I completely know where you are coming from with the whole focus on you thing with portraits and stuff. But I still think you are super duper talented. Just as long as you keep on taking pictures I'm happy:-) thanks so much for being our amazing photographer and creating memories that will last forever!